My Lowest Point
I remember my lowest point in life like it was yesterday.
It felt like everything that could go wrong, did.
I wasn’t passionate about my job and every day felt like a drag. I dreaded those 8 hours in the office and it led me down a path of unhealthy coping mechanisms.
One of my biggest indulgences was video games.
What I thought was a way to escape and to “reclaim my day”, only deepened my problems.
At first, it felt like relief. But over time, it became an addiction—one I couldn’t break.
And when COVID hit around 2020-2021, the isolation made things worse.
I’d bury myself in games, pushing aside chores, responsibilities, and worst of all, my relationship.
My partner was affected and that was the wake-up call I needed.
Despite my pride and ego telling me I needed to muscle my way through this tragedy, the reality was clear: I couldn’t help myself. I needed help.
That’s when I decided to try therapy. It wasn’t easy, but it turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
Therapy became an unexpected, but powerful journey to healing—not just for my mind, but for my whole life.
And now, looking back, I see it wasn’t just about fixing a problem: it was about understanding myself, gaining the tools to live a healthier life, and finally feeling like I was moving forward from my biggest challenges.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
When I was first looking for a therapist I went to my go-to resource which is Reddit.
People recommended this site called Psychology Today and I instantly liked it because I could filter therapists by my insurance, area, etc.
Eventually I stumbled on someone’s profile who looked like they would be able to help me out, solely based on intuition.
I clicked on that person’s website and it brought me to this local clinic in my city of Philadelphia.
I had no idea what their reputation was like, but I decided that I didn’t have much to lose and since they were in the area I might as well give it a try.
I had my first consultation with my soon-to-be therapist and it felt surreal to be doing this in the moment.
This was where I discovered this new terminology I had never heard of: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
CBT is a therapeutic approach that helps reframe negative thoughts and behaviors into more positive ones. Through discussion, learning, and practical exercises, it equips you with tools to navigate tough situations and improve your mental well-being.
What’s also great is no medicine is involved. I wanted to try therapy that didn’t involve medicine first to see how far I can get without affecting my body physically.
As my therapist and I were talking, I was thinking to myself “wow this is actually happening, I’m doing this”. And I also felt this weight I had on my shoulders when I was listing my “why” behind doing therapy.
Basically, the root of my issue was feeling increasingly drained and unfulfilled in my career, struggling to find motivation and purpose. The stress was beginning to spill over into other areas of my life, leaving me feeling stuck and overwhelmed.
At first it was heavy and depressing to re-live this by saying it out loud to this stranger.
But I knew this was the first step, which is one of the hardest to overcome when I’ve already been through so much. I wanted to keep an open-mind and see how this goes because clearly nothing has been working well on my own anyway.
Turning Struggles into Strength
As weeks and months went by, I gradually saw an improvement to my attitude in the work place.
As I was dealing with difficult situations that came up, I had the space and time to process those negative experiences in that one hour with my therapist.
It felt empowering and relieving to know that I had someone in my corner when things went south.
And I had a professional to stay objective and challenge my thinking. To help me reframe negative thoughts into positive ones.
There were many times I couldn’t get out of my own dwelling, but my therapist would give me tools to help pull me to the surface.
I recall one time where I had an extremely stressful experience at work. My hands were sweaty from fear and anxiety, my heart palpitations were irregular, and I was in a fight-or-flight response.
My therapist gave me a tool that helped me relax and divert my attention away from this stressful state by introducing a breathing tool.
You breathe in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and slowly exhale for 6 seconds.
She asked me to repeat this about 3-5 times.
Then she asked me “how do you feel now?”.
I felt much more calm and I was surprised at how effective that was for such a simple tool.
Going forward, I was able to use this tool in many situations that caused me such a high level of stress.
Even though it didn’t solve the root of my problem, it was enough to help me get by and that was meaningful to me. It was better to feel like I can float instead of drown.
Looking Inward
A year went by and although my situation at work hadn’t changed and was still far from ideal, I had gained more tools to help me cope with the problem.
My therapist and I agreed that the best solution was for me to find a job I truly enjoyed.
I tried many different approaches and she recommended self-help books and self-assessments to help me discover my passion.
Though none of them led to a clear answer, they sparked something in me—a momentum that pushed me to look inward for the first time.
I realized that a lot of my reactions to my work environment had been automatic, driven by frustration. But it dawned on me that I needed to do the real work of understanding myself—of searching within to uncover what I actually love doing.
It wasn’t easy. It’s hard to make progress when I feel like I’ve already been on this boat with no direction, drifting aimlessly with no destination.
But I started paying attention to the hints my mind was giving me.
I reflected on old memories, trying to sift through the ones that brought me joy in my work.
Then it hit me—my first internship in college, working with reporting tools that visualized data. I remembered how much I enjoyed it.
But as I dug deeper, the word “data” stood out. And suddenly, I recalled the excitement and happiness I felt while working with data—manipulating it, drawing insights, seeing the bigger picture.
That was a clue.
And I decided to test it.
Setting a New Destination
When I googled data-focused jobs the title Data Analyst came up.
The job description sounded like a dream – the chance to slice and dice data all day and uncover valuable insights was exciting to me.
At first, I wasn’t sure. I’d felt insecure about the choices I’d made in my career up until that point.
But something told me I needed to take the risk. I trusted my gut that working with data full-time could be something I’d truly enjoy.
It took some time, but after months of hard work, I finally landed an interview for a Data Analyst position.
I’ll never forget my last day in the office. Walking out of the building, I had a thought that I’d never be commuting there again. The very next business day, I’d be stepping into a new chapter.
What a relief.
I felt a rush of elation and a sense of calm I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders, like shedding a suit of armor.
I was eager for a small break before my new job began and I truly cherished this moment of anticipation, knowing I was on the verge of something new and exciting.
The Grass Was Greener on the Other Side
In the first 2 months of my new job as a Data Analyst I could tell immediate differences from my last job:
- I was excited to wake up and tackle the challenges of the day involving data.
- I loved what I was doing. Turns out my position was more ETL (extract, transform, load) focused which meant I was doing the basis of Data Engineering work. This experience would later help me achieve my goal of becoming a Data Engineer.
- I enjoyed teaching myself programming languages like SQL and Python.
- I was thrilled to give back to my team and the larger organization by teaching SQL and Python since I was the only subject matter expert in these languages at the time.
- I excelled at everything I did. I took messy data, cleaned it up, and loaded it into our SQL Server database.
- I wrote tons of technical and operational documents to help my team reproduce the work we do and eliminated a lot of the guesswork involved so that the desired results are repeatable.
Not only was the work enjoyable and fun, the work culture was great too!
Everyone was on the same page trying to help each other out.
I felt autonomy in my work and had an environment where I could be proactive in exploring new ideas to be more efficient at my job.
I had the time to read books about SQL and Python that would ultimately aid in my job.
I felt recognized and acknowledged for the great work I was doing and saw my manager pulling me into new projects and taking lead because of my proactivity.
This was it.
From that moment on, I knew that working with data was my gift and passion. I wanted to work with data full-time, mastering the craft so I could deliver high-quality data to clients, helping them solve their problems by enabling them to draw powerful insights.
Conclusion
After a few months in my role as a Data Analyst, I shared with my therapist that it felt like all my problems had practically melted away.
The stress and anxiety that once consumed me were gone and I found myself with fewer challenges to bring up in our sessions compared to before.
She was proud of me and I was proud of myself too.
Getting to this point took a lot of mental work and seeing such a positive transformation was truly life-changing.
I couldn’t have achieved this without the unwavering support of my therapist, my partner, and my family and friends.
Learning to shift my mindset and gaining the tools to cope with tough situations has been incredibly insightful.
Realizing that the root of my struggles was I was working at a job that had nothing to do with my gifts or passion (i.e., working with data) was a pivotal moment in my life.
This experience taught me the immense value of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and how a therapist’s guidance can be a game-changer when I can’t navigate things on my own.
I’ve come to understand that therapy is no different than seeing your primary care doctor for an annual check-up — it’s a vital part of maintaining mental health.
Now, I find comfort in knowing that I have my therapist in my corner, ready to help me face whatever challenges come my way!
Do you currently see a therapist? I’d like to know how your experience has been and hear about your journey in the comments below.
Or if you’re thinking about seeing a therapist, please feel free to ask questions!